Several years ago, in what seemed like another lifetime, I was employed as a member of the clergy within a local congregation. As I look back upon that time, I remember a few folks who used to gather with us that made me quite nervous. I used to think that I didn’t like these specific people, but the reality is, I was afraid of them.
What Really Made Me Nervous…Was The Look In Their Eyes
As you probably know, our minds can be quite deceptive. Sometimes reality is so disruptive and unnerving to us that our natural minds attempt to create an alternate reality that is much more palatable for us to digest. When it came to those few individuals that made me nervous, that is exactly what I did.
These few individuals didn’t seem to fit the mold, so to speak. They didn’t look or act like the rest of the congregation. They didn’t seem to be impressed with the ‘production’ we put on each week like the others were. Sometimes these individuals would even dare to approach me and share what they perceived the Lord saying to them. Often, what they shared with me challenged my preconceived notions about many things.
While I seemed to have the ability to sway the opinions of others quite easily, these few individuals would only embrace something if they perceived the Lord saying something similar to them. I knew I could not control them, and this made me nervous. I also became nervous when I saw these same confident individuals speaking with others. What if they spread their mindset to them? Getting the congregation to buy into my ‘vision’ could become much more difficult if that happened.
What really made me nervous about these individuals, however, was the look in their eyes. There was something different about their eyes. There was a deep love and light in their eyes that assaulted my ability to be in control and to control others. I intrinsically knew they were operating by a substance that I was ignorant of. I felt ‘naked’ around them. Their supernatural love and light made me uncomfortable.
As I mentioned, I was not able to admit this at the time. It was simply unpalatable. As a result, I created reasons to reject these individuals. I projected ill motives onto them. I projected the accusation that these individuals were not willing to submit to ‘leadership’. I rarely shared these accusations with those individuals themselves, however. I shared them with others whom I wanted to maintain control over. I regularly tainted their reputation to others. This is the brutally honest truth.
Those who have had a greater revelation of the love of Christ than I have had have always initially unnerved me
Looking back on that time, I have learned two realities about love & light (Jesus Christ). First, I have learned that the substance of love (Christ) is not able to be ‘mastered’, but eventually masters all things. Because the flesh desires to control, when it comes upon that which it cannot control, it fights for survival. Domination and control is the way the fallen flesh seeks to stay alive. When it cannot maintain control over others, however, it becomes irate. This is why mankind’s power structures throughout history (religious & governmental) have brutally persecuted and killed those they could not control.
In addition to this, I have discovered something about this on a more personal basis. Those who have had a greater revelation of the love of Christ than I have had have always initially unnerved me. As my revelation of His love grows, however, these same people become a haven of rest, not anxiety. This brings me to a second point I’d like to make.
Eventually, the love of Christ (and those who have a revelation of this love) will be fully vindicated. There is no darkness that is powerful enough to ultimately dim the pervasiveness and brightness of His love & light. I now love and appreciate those individuals from my past that used to ‘unnerve’ and scare me. My change of heart toward them had nothing to do with any effort on their part to change my opinion of them, however. The more that I have been awakened to the love of Christ, the more that I have been able to recognize His light and life in those individuals.
The story of Saul (Paul) on the road to Damascus being awakened to the light and life of Christ is our story as well. His heavenly vision of Christ automatically altered his view of the very people he once opposed in the name of God. The same reality has been true of my own life as I have been awakened to this heavenly vision of Christ.
The heavenly vision of Christ has not only changed my view of those individuals who used to unnerve me, this vision has been taking away my fear of all people. Yes, I know there are false teachers out there who stand opposed to this heavenly vision of Christ. I know there are those who also greatly mislead others as well. Nevertheless, they will not be able to continue misleading for the longterm. Time is not on their side as true love stands the test of time. Love never fails.
I have realized that a heavenly revelation (vision) of Christ causes us to love passionately. This love does not grow cold, and this love does not fail. As I have been awakened to the love of Christ, this love for others has remained and grown despite the fact that these same people are not yet able to reciprocate this love.
In the same way that I used to be afraid of and malign others who had a greater revelation of Jesus Christ, others have been unnerved by me and have maligned me as well. I recognize, however, that this is only temporary. In time, His light in us will become evident to all. Both Christ as head, and Christ’s body (us) will be illuminated to all of creation. Every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father. We can rest in this reality.
I’d like to leave you with a few questions for you to ponder:
Is there anyone in your life right now who seems to carry a radical love within them that makes you nervous?
Is there anyone in your life right now who is suspicious of the light & love (Christ) within you?
Have you been maligned by those you deeply love?
If the answer is yes, just wait. He will make all things new in His time.