You Make Me Sick…

December 3, 2013

Dear sister,

Sometimes you really make me sick.  I’ve seen the white hot-passionate love that dwells within your heart, yet more times than not, I’ve seen you retreat from that love into your own self-centeredness. From your fears, you demonize your brothers and sisters whom I have given you to love.  Yes, I hear your religious talk.  Yes, I hear your patronizing terms of endearment for others.  It all sounds blissful yet nauseating because I also hear the quiet disdainful conversations that you have about my loved ones.  I personally feel the poison from the fear you spread about them.  

You were made to love and I have made you a great lover, yet you refuse to love.  I have seen your hunger for wisdom, but it’s not my wisdom that you seek.  You have simply craved the world’s wisdom in your pursuit of wealth.  I wish you could see that this pursuit has brought you nothing but brokenness and poverty.  No, it’s not the kind of poverty you are desperately trying to avoid, it’s a much more devastating kind of poverty that you haven’t been aware of. You have fallen into a poverty of love.

I have sought to clothe you with my finest and treat you to my finer things, yet you’d rather leave the house naked without the gifts that I have lavished on you.  I’m standing in front of you, yet you continually walk right past me in your pursuit of what you think is me.  

Sister, can I tell you something?  I’m not going to play that game with you anymore.  I’m going to let you come face to face with the facade you have chosen.  It’s going to hurt for a while, but not forever.  When you have given up all your pursuits and things have gotten quiet, I’ll come over for dinner.  In that day, it will just be you and I, and we’ll have the time of our lives.  We’ll laugh, we’ll cry, and I will share the best of my life with you.  We’ll relate and know one another. 


You will be satisfied.  Just when you think it’s as good as it gets, I’ll take you to my place.  We’ll live together, and we’ll share every meal together from that time on.  

“I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot.  So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.  Because you say, “I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,” and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked…Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent.  Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.  He who overcomes, I will grant to him to sit down with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.” (Revelation 3:15-17, 19-21, NASB) 

RELATED READING: Are You Hot or Cold? How Do You Know?

Jamal Jivanjee

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9 responses to You Make Me Sick…

  1. It seems funny to me now when I think of how this scripture is always used to reference the “lost” (Behold, I stand at the door and knock). Yet it is so plainly I see now Christ was talking to the church who has closed Him out. He wants so desperately to re-enter, but patiently waits for the church to open the door an allow Him back in. Good word, my brother!

  2. as I read your post these words kept playin over and over;

    “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot..”

    may we have ears to hear:

    “You will not see me
    Again until you can say
    Blessed is He
    Who comes in the name of the Lord
    Josh Garrels

  3. Excellent piece. Yes, this is the season we are living in and we each need to examine ourselves in this. I have a friend who the Lord has called to live a life much like Hosea. (Yes He still does this today.) His life with his wife is very much a picture of Christ and the Church, which is why this message today is so startling and accurate to what just transpired in his life.

    This past weekend I watched this man pour out love on an unbelievable level to his bride only to be rebuffed at every level because it is not what she conceives of as love. She is misguided in her pursuits. And he is deeply grieved because his love is deep, his passion strong. In fact, in the face of all his love, his literal desire and request to wash her feet, she spurned him, wants him to leave. And so at the end of the month, he will. But as you said, he’s going to let her come face to face with the facade she’s chosen. He has comfort in the sure knowledge the Spirit will come in his absence and minister to her in deep ways. And he looks for the day when he will come back and dine with her and she will receive his love wholly, completely, and they “will have the time of their lives”. This the Father has promised.

  4. I had to read it twice before it hit me-I will give a quote I got from THOMAS TORRANCE–the justification we have is not the justification of us in and of ourselves–but its the justification of jesus when the father raised him from the dead-now by our birth into the resurrected life of jesus and our union with him we live our Christian lives by his justification

  5. What a deep writing about humanity in general but also Christians. I think you are dealing with many things that happen to us as Christians that we think we are being close to God and loving Him, but is only self righteousness, self enthronement, self exaltation, and self on the throne. We do this mainly because of the religious spirit but more than this, many of us have such hurt in our hearts making us feel unworthy of the Fathers love that we are working for it so hard that we can’t receive the Father’s love without paying for it. To merely repent of sin is not hard enough or good enough, so we run from the Father’s love which is the one thing we must have. Without His love we are left to ourselves to make it in this world. I am sorrowful to see this happen so often when God’s children go to drugs and alcohol and other things that cannot satisfy permanently. When Jesus comes to our door and knock, we run away because our house is unclean. We say we love Jesus and yet we polute our love for Him with this hurt and self and think it is real love. To simply sit before Jesus and be still and know He is God who loves us and unconditionally accepts us and have chosen us to be His alone will bring a love relationship between Jesus and us that will satisfy every hurting heart.

  6. Amen what a good writing..I love the transparency..Its something we face when we are real with ourselves…This flesh of ours stinks and yet we cannot escape it without being indwelt with Christ.

    • Leanne,

      Thank you for your comment. I am glad that the transparency encourages you. I am also glad you are enjoying the posts here on the blog.

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