The Day John & Mary Moved In Together…

March 6, 2014

She stood there shivering as the wind brutally blew through her pores, chilling her to the bone.  She could never remember feeling this cold and alone before.  All she wanted to do was die.  How would she go on?  How could she go on?  How could she leave this place?  The thought of going home again to that empty house was too much to bear.  She hadn’t eaten anything in the last twenty four hours.  She was feeling weak, but how could she ever eat again, let alone make another meal?  How would she make it through this long night until tomorrow?  How could she lay her head on a pillow, breathe, and drift off to sleep in peace ever again?  

Her heart was pierced to the core with the sharpest knife, and the pain was not one she could imagine surviving.  Her most precious gift in life, her definition of love, her own flesh and blood, was ripped from her in the most inconceivable act of injustice.

As she looked up and and saw the naked shredded body of her son hanging there from the cross gasping for breath, and as she heard His accusers mocking Him through their twisted sense of righteousness, she felt completely abandoned and alone, helpless to do anything.  

Though the blood was running into His eyes, and each beat of His heart pulsated pain into each nerve ending, He was still able to see her standing there.  His heart broke because of her pain for Him.  Although she was losing the son of her flesh, He wanted to give her something greater.  A son in the spirit!

Was this a platitude?  Simply an empathetic gesture in the moment to help ease her pain, or did He really intend to give her a new son?  How could this be possible?  She remembered asking that question thirty three years ago, and now she found herself asking it again.  

She knew John.  She loved the joy that his friendship brought to her Son.  She always could see His eyes light up whenever they interacted.  She loved seeing how affectionate they were with one another.  It melted her heart each time John rested his head on His chest.  That grown man was reduced to a little boy around Him, and she loved to see that.  Such affection was rarely seen among men.  She loved John for the way he loved her Son.     

In one statement from the cross, however, He altered the course of their relationship forever.    

“When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home”. (John 19:26-27, NIV) 

Like any relationship birthed in the heart of the Lord, this relationship couldn’t be understood in fleshly terms.  Those who saw it this way would not understand.  In some circles, Mary had a questionable reputation.  Questions about the nature of her Son’s birth those many years ago never left.  The religious leaders loved to make back handed jabs at Jesus by suggesting that He was the offspring of fornication.  No explanation was ever given to them.  The false assumptions simply continued.  

Now John was going to take this woman, maybe only fifteen years older than him, into his home?  Did Jesus really intend for them to relate as mother and son in such a close proximity? Would that even be possible?  This was something that only blood relatives did.  What would people say?  Didn’t Jesus consider the fleshly risks of non-blood relatives attempting to relate in this way in such close proximity?  

Would they really be mother and son to each other, or was this simply overly spiritual, idealistic, pie in the sky Jesus speak?

I’m convinced that this was more than an analogy for Mary and John.  This was their new reality.  That statement from the cross radically changed who they were to each other.  The DNA of their relationship was profoundly altered when they heard those words.  From that day on, John and Mary were family in the deepest sense of the word.  

When Mary moved in with John and the disapproving looks and innuendos began to circulate, they remembered His words from the cross and stayed together.   

When days of tension and misunderstanding came, and they were tempted to view each other from a fleshly mindset, they remembered His words from the cross and stayed together.  

When all the schemes of the adversary came against them to drive them apart, they remembered His words from the cross and stayed together.  

I’m convinced of something beautiful.  Mary & John’s relationship was not a one time event, but the beginning of an entirely new understanding of family from a heavenly perspective.  I’m also convinced that this new understanding of family is more than just a new theology in the generic sense of the word.  It’s more than a generic change in terminology regarding how we refer to one another (Brother, sister, mother, father).  

What Jesus did for Mary and John, He is doing for us now in the most personal of our relationships that we have, or will have.  One you’ve known may become a mother to you when you hear His words from beyond the cross.  Some of us will gain a father in the same way.  When you hear His heart from beyond the cross, one will become a sister to you and another will become a brother to you in the deepest sense of the word.  

These relationships are very personal in nature and can only flourish by personal revelation in much the same way Mary & John’s new relationship began.  This is the manner in which the Lord is building His house.  This is how the Lord is expressed on the earth.  Make no mistake about it, warfare will surround these personal relationships that begin through divine revelation.  All hell will come against them to destroy them.  Like Mary & John, in those moments you will have to remember the words spoken to you from beyond the cross.

“Behold your mother”.  

“Jesus said, “Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or farms, for My sake and for the gospel’s sake, but that he will receive a hundred times as much now in the present age, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and farms, along with persecutions…” (Mark 10:29-30)

Jamal Jivanjee

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24 responses to The Day John & Mary Moved In Together…

  1. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (When I come down from flying maybe I can say something more intelligible)

  2. To be gifted to ‘see’ this, to be abundantly blessed beyond measure, to walk ‘in’ these Kingdom based relationships is the greatest gift we can receive this side of His resurrection. In them there is a revealing, this revealing is to ‘see’ Jesus Christ ‘in’ another, and for them to ‘see’ Him ‘in’ you.

    Words cannot express the beauty and wonder of these relationships, they are filled with life…His Life.

    I ‘see’ you Jamal, and you are beautiful in every way.

  3. Behold your grandfather.

    Was what He gave me and Pam with Papa. How glad Papa must be in heaven Jamal and what a lovely post ahh, it gave me a lump in my throat. I love you bro thanks ever so much!

    • Jamal Jivanjee March 6, 2014 at 5:34 pm

      So glad this encouraged you Hope:) It is an honor you were encouraged by this post today. You have a heart of gold!

  4. That is beautiful Jamal. Thank you for sharing.

  5. Kenneth Dawson March 6, 2014 at 8:22 pm

    Wow you always have such beautiful insights into events that happened in the testimony of scripture..I have read that text a million times and never saw such beauty..but now thanks to your post I have seen something new and refreshing…thanks..don’t ever stop blogging..please!

  6. I have thought that I got the heart of Jesus in His familial language from the very beginning of becoming His Disciple and walked in this way among many that thought I was weird but now 21 years later I see that I haven’t even scratched the surface of what His heart is in this regard and I am Undone with just what He has revealed to me now and can’t even imagine the depths of Intimacy that He will reveal to us in the future.
    Thnx for being one that brings a deeper look into this and ALL those that not only don’t think I am weird( on this topic anyway 😉 ) and make it safe to endeavor deeper into Him ! 😀

    • Jamal Jivanjee March 7, 2014 at 3:23 pm


      You are perfectly made for His kingdom. Your heart is His heart. You reflect His essense beautifully.

    • Jamal Jivanjee March 7, 2014 at 5:12 pm

      He has not left us as orphans. He has placed us into the most intimate of families. What a love we have been given:)

  7. Okay, I’ve settled down. But just a bit.:) The way this story was expressed made me feel like going to heaven, to that place in Christ where these relationships are seated. It also brought back memories, for before Jay Ferris departed this world he too was very moved by this story. It is not without significance that these are days of deepening revelation in this area. It is both exciting and sobering.

    One thing Jay mentions is that this is not something that the other apostles, except for John at the time, was in a position to receive. Although this was the case literally, as John’s position at the foot of the cross put him in the right place at the right time, the deeper meaning is that wherever there is fear, there is a quenching of Christ’s reproductive spiritual life in relationships. John was a picture of someone who was embracing the cross in the truest sense of the word. Flesh, fear, and law, were all being crucified. John saw this quicker than the other apostles, and was the first to not be ashamed of the sufferings of Christ outside the camp, nor be offended with Him.

    I loved how you brought out the gift that Mary received in John, as a new son. And it is equally true that John received a wonderful gift too. Mary was the woman who knew Jesus best, and at the time was Jesus’ most precious treasure to give John.

    I can’t imagine the intimate fellowship and interesting conversation that John was blessed with in his home after that! (then again, I think I can) 🙂

  8. “wherever there is fear, there is a quenching of Christ’s reproductive spiritual life in relationships. John was a picture of someone who was embracing the cross in the truest sense of the word. Flesh, fear, and law, were all being crucified.”

    The body of Christ and His Loving expression can only floriish in the hearts of those who allow the fear of intimacy to be crucified.

    “Where the Spirit of Christ is, there is liberty”

  9. Mary Ellen Robinson March 7, 2014 at 1:37 pm

    What a beautiful post, Jamal! Thanks for sharing more of our wonderful Lord in this way. What you have written about here is what I miss most from our time of living overseas; and the lack thereof is my greatest challenge of living here now.

    • Jamal Jivanjee March 10, 2014 at 3:16 pm

      Mary Ellen,

      Thanks for your comment. May what you experienced of the Lord’s community overseas be brought to you here as well. I’m glad this post encouraged you:)

  10. Mary O’Neal March 7, 2014 at 4:35 pm

    John 13:35 says they will know we are His disciples by our love one for another. This takes grace but grace is always there when God puts people together supernaturally.
    I love the way you have such catchy titles. It makes you want to read more. Thanks Jamal, this was beautiful.

    • Jamal Jivanjee March 10, 2014 at 3:24 pm


      I’m glad you like the catchy titles. I’ve taken flack for some of them in the past;)

      I love what you said… When the Lord puts people together supernaturally, there truly is grace to love one another even when it’s difficult. When people are striving to make something work that the Lord isn’t building, however, the grace simply isn’t there. Well said Mary!

  11. I believe that the Lord is opening our hearts, “His bride “to love Him and one another more deeply, more intensely more intimately and more purely then we ever thought possible. Sadly many fear this pure and intimate embracing of love for Him and one another and will try and pervert and prevent it. They fear what they have not come to know.
    I also have harbored this fear of abandoning myself totally to His love through others because of fear of abuse and being hurt. Jamal , through your sharing your heart ,I’m seeing the beauty in embracing His love through others in a deeper way, I’m truly experiencing that His perfect love casts out all fear and this is were the Spirit wins ! We can’t love what we fear .
    Your heart and words of love has blessed my heart dear brother. I love you dear brother .

    • Jamal Jivanjee March 10, 2014 at 3:38 pm


      Thank you for this comment. It is music to my ears. By His stripes, (including the ones He bears through our bodies) we are healed and made whole. It is my joy to hear of the healing and wholeness you are experiencing that is leading you to greater levels of trust and intimacy with others. I love you too, and look forward to the next time we can spend some time together.

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