Last week, (as of this writing) my father passed away. I've discovered that whenever someone meaningful to us passes on, it can be an opportunity for deeper reflection and healing even in the midst of grief. 

While many people try to move on as quickly as possible after the death of a loved one, I am learning to linger a bit in this space and allow every emotion to speak. This space is a space rich with insight, wisdom, relational intimacy, and clarity. As I lean into this space, I am receiving so much. 

Death exists only because life exists. Life is actually the creator of death. If there was no life, there would also be no death. Death, therefore, is an expression of life. I have learned that death is an extraordinary opportunity to wake up to our true nature.When those we love experience death, it serves as an opportunity for us to wake up to the truth about our beautiful nature beyond any false notions of personal inadequacy.

When death occurs, the truth of our living essence is birthed.

At death, the illusion of our small powerless identity dies.

At death, the illusion of our flaws and imperfections die.

At death, the illusion of our separateness from anything and everything dies. 

At death, our creeds, our allegiances, our affiliations, and all of our sectarian identifications die. 

At death, the ego dies. 

At death, the only thing that truly dies is the illusion of self. I’m reminded of the words of Jesus: “He who wishes to gain his life must lose it, and he who loses his life will find it".

As we lose the illusion of self, we gain the awareness of the full and complete life that we are.

Death awareness can be the ultimate life enhancer and this can occur well before our physical death occurs.

Death also has a way of highlighting the inherent significance of a single life on this planet.

My father was a significant life on this planet.

So many lives exist and were permanently altered, and many situations and events have occurred on this planet simply because my father was born a little over eighty eight years ago. 

If I'm being honest, I'm not sure how much he was personally aware of his own inherent power and significance here in this life.

Life, unfortunately, felt like a tremendous struggle for my dad. His struggle, however, was one of my most important teachers in life.

My dad was a source of extraordinary contrast for me. As an observer of the significant life that he lived, I observed in him…

Feelings of scarcity while being surrounded with tremendous abundance.

Perceptions of being being unsupported while surrounded by the support of loved ones.

Thinking life had passed him by when it was only just beginning. 

Desiring to be heard, yet seldom listening. 

Having a robust thirst for knowledge, yet being profoundly dogmatic.

Desiring connection, yet being relationally uncurious. 

But beyond these contrasts, I observed a man who deeply desired abundance, safety, freedom, truth, wellbeing, and connection as many of us do. 

My father’s superpower was his ability to be devoted to anything he set his mind on.

This devotion led him to leave East Africa (with almost no resources) to come to the United States to marry a woman he had only met in letters (my mother).

This devotion later led him to defy Western Medicine and embrace holistic health when doctors told him there was no cure for his life threatening condition. He embraced a new way of eating and living and healed his ‘incurable’ disease. 

While his devotion is a quality that I deeply admire, my father was unable to go beyond his struggle in life to tap into his deeper desires for abundance, safety, freedom, truth, wellbeing, and connection.

Like so many of us, my dad had an unseen inner block that went unaddressed in his life. This kept him unable to access his deeper inner abundance.

There is no judgement in this observation. He did the best he could with the awareness he had. That was his path.

I too spent many years of my life in this same struggle as well. Despite my determination to break free in the same areas of life that my dad was unable, I too struggled as he did. 

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t overcome a desperately low inner credit score, so to speak. I felt continually denied access to the abundance that so many others seemed to easily acquire relationally, professionally, mentally, etc…

My dad’s struggle is precisely why I turned inward in my life to heal and up level.

My dad’s struggle, and my desire for the healing of the world, is also why I am a life coach today. It’s the ultimate ‘why’ behind my work. 

My service to people through my work as a life coach is precisely how I honor my parents' profound struggle.

If 2025 was your last year on earth, or the start of your last full decade, how would you want it to be for you? (Don’t skip past this uncomfortable question. Sit with it.)

It’s on the very heels of my father’s passing, and on the precipice of a New Year, that I want to share with you an important new offering that I have felt compelled to make available to you personally in the beginning of 2025. 

If you are ready to die to the illusion of limitation and powerlessness that has held you back from accessing the abundant capital of life, I would like you to watch this special video I created for you HERE…


Jamal Jivanjee 
Author / Life Coach
Free To Love Coaching Solutions LLC