The more we try to ‘keep the peace’ with others, the more conflict and drama will ensue.
Do you (or someone you know) play the role of a peace keeper? When we play the role of a ‘peace keeper’ we often unconsciously take on liability for someone else’s state of being.
If someone else is having drama and is miserable, the peace keeper typically tries to ‘save’ them by fixing their perceived issue for them. The one playing the role of a ‘peace keeper’ is unconsciously trying to pacify the one having drama so that they themselves can eventually experience their own peace after the crisis is averted or solved with the other person.
This never works because the peace the ‘peace keeper’ is seeking is always in the future, not the present moment where life is actually experienced. Not only does the ‘peace keeper’ not experience peace for themselves, they inadvertently enable the addictive pattern of drama within those they are trying to help.
The truth is, everyone’s life is their own making. If someone is committed to being miserable and dis-empowered, we can allow them to be miserable and dis-empowered. This is a major key to our own liberation, and eventually theirs.
The only power we directly have is power over our own state of being. We choose our own state of being by choosing our own focus.
The most effective way to be a real ‘peace maker’ is by imbibing peace within yourself. This often means allowing others to be as miserable and dis-empowered as they are committed to being.
Jamal Jivanjee
Life Coach
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